Sunday, 10 July 2011

Some things have to be handled delicately... otherwise you break the spell

So realizing at a very early age that I was gay, I opted to go for the 'let's-spend-life-in-the-closet' lifestyle.  This was good up until the fateful day my wife looked at me and said, "I've looked at my future and I don't see you in it"... Normally I would have suggested she change the channel and get a different viewpoint, but I saw this as an opportunity to get rid of the aforementioned heterosexual societal constraints and live the life that was given to me as a normal gay man.

With this opportunity in mind - and knowing the divorce wouldn't happen overnight (instead of fighting over gay marriages, we really should be looking at how divorce for the masses should be something you can purchase at WalMart) - I decided I would ease my children into the subject quite normally and slowly.

Well, the Gay Gods must have heard my somewhat tasteful, yet delicate, wish and granted me an occasion to put my plan into action.  A good friend of mine who was gay had to decided to have a committment ceremony with this partner (this was prelegalizing same sex marriage -when it became everyone's right, they did it). This friend was also known to both of my two children, however, I was not sure if they knew of his sexual orientation, a fact that would come into play.

When I received the invitation to attend Friend and Partner's "Commitment Ceremony", I was also told I should invite my children (thank you Gay Gods for answering my prayers!).  I went to my daughter (a very mature 11 year old at the time) who thought it was great and would be happy to attend.  When I mentioned this to my 9 year old boy child, he asked, "What is a Commitment Ceremony?"  Thinking this was a reasonable question and not one I'd heard on Jeopardy for $500, I began the answer with, "Well, you know Friend is gay..."

Boy child reacted negatively and said he had to go speak with his sister.  Immediately he marched into his sister's room with another question: "Sister!  Did you know Friend was gay????" to which sister replied, "Well, duh!!!"  Then she said something to him, which I had said to her once upon a time, "He may be gay, but he is still the same man he always was.  Nothing has changed, you just know more information about him".

He must have deeply thought this through for all of 30 seconds before he came back to me and stated, "Alright, I'll go to the Committment, but I still have one more question...  which one of them is wearing the dress?"


  1. Funny story - thanks for sharing!

  2. thanks Mike! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

  3. Out of the mouths of babes - what an insightful young lady.

  4. Thanks Jim. Not only is she insightful she is one incredible young woman! I'll be blogging about coming out to her soon.